This journal is entirely private now. I have shifted everything to Dreamwidth.

http://daven.dreamwidth.org

Thanks for reading.

I made this shift because one of the people on my "Friend's List" decided that they wanted to kick me when I was already down. So I just locked all these entries. I also don't update here anymore, that's in protest to SA and LJ's constant disregard of their users.

I reposted an entry I had on Dreamwidth about my invisible illnesses, and I realized that many people might not know about Sleep Apnea. Most of the other illnesses are pretty self-explanatory, but not that one.

Basically when I sleep, my throat relaxes. This isn’t a big deal since everyone’s does that, but in my case, it’s bad. It relaxes so much that the soft palate in the back of my throat collapses down and blocks my airway. I start choking.

What happens then is that my body sends a signal to my brain to wake me up and to get me breathing again. Not that big of a deal either, but in order to do that, I have to come from the beta, gamma or delta sleep I was in back up to the alpha state of sleep, so that I can tense the soft palate and start breathing.

All of this means that I choke myself all night long. It also means that I don’t get a full night’s sleep, since I keep waking up over and over and over again.

This is a condition that has been around for a REALLY long time. In other times it was called “Cheyne-Stokes“, but instead of suffocating due to brain injury, this is caused by the throat collapsing. It has been known to cause death in the past.

So the solution is to wear a CPAP machine. What this does is it creates a higher air pressure in my sinuses and mouth which holds the throat open at night, allowing me to breath normally. Here’s pictures:

The mask itself

The machine on my nightstand

What I look like at night in bed

The great part is that Mary gets to wear one of these too, almost identical to mine. We look like Borg and the vents on our masks blow on each other constantly. Really fun. Can’t talk, and they do take some time to get used to.

But, I do get a full night’s sleep now, unless the mask slips and I have to readjust it to seal it against my face. Or whatever. There’s a lot of times I wake up because the mask is bothering me. But I have managed to NOT pull the nearly $500 machine off my nightstand. I hope I continue this trend.

Is there another treatment I could have? Actually there is. It involves a minor surgery to inject an acid on the top of the soft palate to encourage scar tissue, and to pull it in and shrink the soft palate up. But it’s still experimental and I don’t think that I can get it done just because I wanna. Same with the diabetes, apparently injecting capsaicin into the liver will cure diabetes (the juice of a hot pepper that causes the tongue and mouth burn). But experimental treatments aren’t paid for by state insurance yet.

Anyhow, I thought I would post this to let you all know what this condition is. There was a link on the “invisible illness” post to the Sleep Apnea national group. Go and take a look to learn more.

Just thought I would share.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

Well, I’ve been playing around with Encryption these days, and I finally got around to implementing GnuPG encryption for my email. It’s taken some time, and a lot of work on my part to get it right, but I finally did it.

My public PGP Encryption Key (right click and “SaveAs”)

I’m doing this because I’m terrified of the Government’s far reaching influence and the slow erosion of things like personal privacy. You send me an email, I can read it on my server. That’s fine. But so can all the administrators of the server, so can the people who own the programs residing on that server, and so can anyone who has admin access. A Federal subpoena (and even those without one in some cases) can force the companies to present them with that information and those emails. And I wouldn’t know about it.

The only way to safeguard myself from that is to start using encryption.

Unfortunately, I can’t set up Daven’s Journal to send me encrypted emails from the email form page without buying a lot of specialized software and certificates and so on, which I really don’t have the money for. So, I tell you this:

My email address is all over this site. I have about 400 + pages and of those, there are a lot that have my email address on it, even if the link for the email address goes to the email page. Use your brain and copy that address, put it into your email program’s “To” field, use the public key to encrypt the information you are sending me, and send the email. Do this for important stuff, things that you would be embarrassed or upset if it got out. But use it. If you can’t find my email, it is daven (at) davensjournal (dot) com

And find out about online communication security. It’s becoming more and more necessary these days.

This was originally posted on Mar 08, 2006. This is a repost, but the links are current, and the sentiment is the same.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

Irreverand Hugh did some articles for his website a while back, and one that he posted was about Black Magick

http://www.geocities.com/tribhis/blackmagic.html

Unfortunately since his site went down, there’s no more site to pull that article from. I checked on Archive.org and with Google Cache and I can’t find it anyplace.

Anyone know where I can find a copy?

Found it. A friend pointed me to a copy at http://webspace.webring.com/people/ug/goldenmonkey/blackmagic.html, which, oddly enough, is the site that they wound up moving to.

I’ve reprinted it at On Black Magick here on the Journal.

I kinda feel silly now.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

I’m playing around with my sitemaps. I have two different ones:

Please let your voice be heard. I can use either, but I need to know which you prefer. I really don’t want to have two sitemaps on my site.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

Okay, you may have noticed that I changed everything. I have the development site live now.

No need to change your shortcuts, it’s still at http://davensjournal.com .

There are still some housekeeping chores to do, like making the links all work. So if you come across a page/post where the links are pointing at the wrong place, let me know please? Just leave a comment on that article or post and I’ll get it.

I don’t have a page up for the links out to other sites just yet, and my classes are scarce. I plan on rectifying those problems soon.

Let everyone know, let your blog readers know, let those who just casually drop by that the new site is live. There will be some kicking the tires and so on, but I think this one is going to be a lot nicer.

And please, on this post, tell me what you think? I’d love to hear it.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

For a limited time: For $20 you can get a two question tarot card reading from me.

davensjournal@gmail.com or post here.

I've been at the hospital with Mary all day. Here's the saga in order:

* Ten years ago Mary got a hernia from a botched hysterectomy
* two years ago Mary started exercising and agravated her hernia and went in to have it repaired
* they found several "conditions of concern" in her body. I'd link the relevant posts, but I'm too freaking tired now.
----> The main problem they found that concerned EVERYONE is that she had a 100% blockage in one artery on her heart, which grew its own bypass, and a 70% blockage in another area. Stent inserted, all is well.
* Mary has been seeing a cardiologist off and on for the last two years (and yes the hernia got taken care of)
* Her last Cardiac Stress test was not good. She failed it (last week)
* Scheduled her for another cardiac catheter to check.
* Passed the cath with flying colors, but because of the bypass her body did, she will ALWAYS fail stress tests.
* They found a major arterial blockage in the split coming from the heart to the legs, the junction where it splits to the two legs is really blocked. (which explains her cold feet)
* Cath doctor will talk to Cardiologist and find out about when they can do a stent for that one.

> We got up at 4:30 AM this morning to go to the doctor since they told us to be there at 6, and the transport picked us up at 5AM. I had gone to sleep at 3 AM.
> Got there, waited till the outpatient place opened at 6.
> Took Mary in and did various things to her while I sat in the waiting room.
7:30 I went back to see Mary and spend time with her.
> Technician came and did paperwork and we talked Lasagna, Spaghetti, meatballs, New York, Brooklyn, Bronx, Made Men, the Mafia, Basement wine and prohibition and the procedure for 1/2 hour.
> Informed that the doctors wouldn't even be there till at least 10:30 and there were two people in front of Mary, more critical you see.
> 10 AM took a hydrocodone to help with my feet and hips, and to give the contact high/painkill to her while we waited.
> At 2 PM they came and did the cath
> At 3:30 they were done, we have a DVD of the films they took, and Mary was admitted to the hospital.
----> The reason for the admission is easy, they didn't want her doing a lot of exercise OR taking any stairs until the entry had healed enough to take the stress. Since the bathroom is upstairs, they decided to keep her overnight.
> Got Mary settled in her room, admissions paperwork and so on done by 5 PM, I went for dinner and was disappointed since the caffeterial didn't open till 6.
> Entertained Mary as best as I could and let her have my MP3 player to distract her.
> At 5:30 Mary could finally sit up from laying down flat. Only 30 deg angle though.
> 6 limped down to the caffeteria again to get dinner for me AND Mary. Had catfish, she had an awesome salad.
> At 7 went back down to buy water for Mary so she could have something to drink over night.
> 7:30 Mary got to get up and walk to the bathroom to take a whiz. (Hey, this was important, she had been holding it since the proceedure.)
> 8 packed up to come home.
> 8:20 missed the bus. (I was sitting on the inbound track of the bus route, I saw it on the outward journey. Realized that as late as it was, the bus would NOT be coming back by me on the inward bound track. It took a whole 'nother route in.)
> 9:10, I'm freezing my ass off. Shorts and t-shirt are not good for 50 deg weather.
> 9:12, my phone dies from power issues.
> 9:25 the bus shows.
> 10 PM we pull into the depot.
> 10:20 we pull out of the depot on my way home.
> 10:40 I get off the bus and start walking to my apartment.
> 10:45 I walk through the door
> 10:45:10 my mother calls to see when I'll be home
> 11 start writing this post.
> 11:04 writing this now.

Okay, here's the deal.

Back when we bought our house, we also signed up to get a whole-house water filter. The finance company was very good to us, we had payments of $120 every month to pay it off. It should have been paid off in 4 years.

Then I lost my job.

The finance company demanded that we pay them before we paid anyone else. They wouldn't take no for an answer. They are responsible for some of the house payments being late, because once we paid them, we didn't have enough for the mortgage.

It's been 4 years now. We don't have the water filter anymore. They call us, they are now calling my wife's employer. We have bounced checks because they take money directly out of our account.

Last I checked, the $3500 that we owed to pay off the water filter, we still owe $3500 on it. The payments we have been making? Only for the interest. We can't afford this anymore.

So I want suggestions on what I can do. I'm not talking to them because I can't pay them. Every time we do pay them, we wind up in MASSIVE financial jeopardy. So any thoughts will help.

I'm opening up this post and asking for help on Twitter too, so just keep that in mind.

A plea

I'm going to beg now.  Please understand that I HATE doing
this.



I need to raise $2000 in the next three or four days.  I HAVE
to have it by the 11th, so I can have the money transferred to my bank
account by the 14th.



I got an apartment for me and my family to live in.  We move
in on the 14th of January.  Before then I have to get my bills
paid from when we were evicted from our house, so that the power, water
and basic necessities of life get turned on.  Yes, we owe
$1500 on our power bill.  I have no clue how the hell that
happened, but it did.



So, I'm begging.  If you have found any of my writings of use,
if you have found any of my LiveJournal and InsaneJournal entries of
use, any of the thoughts I have shared on various message boards or
columns or book reviews or anything of use, please make a donation.
 Even $10 can help me.  If just 100 people give $20,
that's the amount I need.  I get more traffic at Daven's
Journal in a month than that.  It's one meal at McDonalds or
Burger King I'm asking for.



Why can't I do this you might ask?  I've been out of work for
the last 2 years.  I've looked, I've applied, I've taken
classes, I've applied for assistance and everything and ALL those
resources are used up.  I don't qualify for Unemployment, and
I've had day jobs in places, but that hasn't happened in the past two
months because I have no way to get to a job.  I'll be able to
get to a bus line now and get back and forth to work at this point.



So Please, PLEASE, if you can spare it, give me $20.  Get your
friends to do so.  Get your coven to do so.  Get the
people in the office to do so.  All this will do is get me
back to 0 so we can start fresh.



If you include your name/ID or online handle, I'll add your name
or your family's name or whatever you want to my prayers and rituals.
 Believe me, I'm doing tons of work in that area now.

Donations over $50 get a tarot reading from me once I get settled and get my cards back.

Thank you.

PS:
 If you want to send me abusive email about how stupid and
irresponsible or assholish I am, or whatever, please feel free.  I
deserve it.  
Email me

Daven
AKA  Eric Landrum

If you are bailing on LJ, may I suggest InsaneJournal? It's really good. Based on the exact same code, right down to the icons and that bar at the top, inexpensive permanent accounts when they go on sale (I paid $35 for mine), and a really caring staff of people who don't care what you put in your Journals. No censorship. Damned near the exact same clone of what you have here, just no stupid ads, sponsored gifts, flags, strikethrough, blackout, deleteing, censoring and so on.

Oh, and no Russian layoffs with no warning.

Marriage as it is being defined by law was nothing more than a way to determine inheritance and property merging and division in the past. The church had nothing to do with that legal contract, and the courts/government had nothing to do with the religious union of two people into one unit. It is my considered opinion that it should stay that way.

This is why a Justice of the Peace can perform a union, civil or otherwise, because all they are doing is witnessing the vows to keep the legal contract of the property correct, not joining people in holy matramony. That is the purpose of the church.

I am very glad that more mainstream churches are recognizing same sex unions. The law should not have anything to do with it. It is a shame that so few people who are screaming the loudest can affect the marriages of so many others.

Put it this way, I married a woman 16 years my senior, if the law is changed to make same sex unions illegal because there can be no children from that, then my marriage is in jeopardy too.

But that aside, it is monstrously unfair that one group can tell another how they can love, and live, with another.

Please repost this to everyone you can. I'm opening this up on my LJ to let everyone repost and link to it.

Several days ago, I was surfing around the Internet and I found a place called "Flash Drive Express".

While surfing on their site, I went to the page listing their Portable Hard Drives with a Leather Case. I looked at the prices and saw a price listing for their 500 GB HDDs that I couldn't believe.

50 pieces: 5.10 each
100 Pieces: 4.80 each
250 Pieces: 4.10 each
500 Pieces: 3.60 each
1000 pieces: 2.90 each

This was with my logo printed on the drive casing, a promotional product. I couldn't believe it, since the CASING was more than that. I clicked on the big button that said "Live Support".

I talked to a lady named Krista. I pointed her to the page in question and asked her if those were accurate prices. She said that it was a HUGE typo and that she would let the people know and it would be fixed. I teased her a bit about the typo and suggested that if she wanted to reward my honesty for this and send me one or two, I wouldn't object.

She told me that she and her company would honor that price if I placed an order. I was stunned.

I started working my backside off to raise funds to pay for many of these. I made promises to my family, to my uncle. I took the money from my daughter for her Christmas so I could finance the purchase of as many of these 500 GB drives as possible, since I could always sell them at a flea market if I had to. This was a financial windfall of EPIC proportions.

I managed to get 4 pre-sales and get the money for them and I had 21 others sold to various people once I had them to give out. I had two people who were willing to invest once I got a sample to show them of these drives.

Today, I went to actually purchase 50 of these and I contacted Krista again. I reminded her about her promise to honor this price when I placed an order. I started the process to place the order.

I get an email back saying that their distributor didn't have the 500 GB drives, but they could send me the 320 GB drives instead.

I asked her if it would be for the same price, the $5 each. I figured I could still sell these, even if it wasn't what the customers I had ordered.

She said that because of the mix up on the website, she could give me the 320 GB drives for a 10% discount, at 86 or so dollars EACH.

This would have been a hell of a deal if I had the money, but since I had been told that the 5 deal would be honored, I was a bit shocked. I told her to talk to her supervisors and to figure out if this was the correct course of action for the customer service to take.

I finally wrote back and stated in no uncertain terms that I either wanted the 500 GB drives for 5 each, all 50 of them and I would pay for them, or I wanted 75 of the 320 GB drives for the same price, namely 5 for 50 (basically they would throw in 25 to make up the difference in drive size) or 10 of the 320 for free to me or I would tell everyone I knew about this Bait and Switch operation.

They just closed. So, having not heard from them, I"m now making a viral post that I encourage everyone to link to, repost and comment on and share with delico, facebook, twitter and so on.

PLEASE repost this to everyone. This is not customer service. They said they would honor a price, and then they snatched that price away. It is not my fault that they made a mistake in their database, they agreed to give me the 500 GB drives at the price they had listed. It doesn't matter that their manufacturer didn't have them to ship, they should have gone out and bought the drives from a computer store to honor their promise.

I understand they would have been taking a bath on these. But if that is the problem, THEY SHOULD HAVE NOT PROMISED TO HONOR THAT PRICE WITH AN ORDER. That virtually guaranteed that I would order from them AT THAT PRICE. When they don't follow through, that makes them liars and a bad company.

So, that's the story. Do as you feel you must. I would suggest spreading this story around and I would also suggest writing their customer service group and complaining.

http://nashville.craigslist.org/sys/971333735.html


I just came into possession of several 500 Gigabyte External Portable Hard Drives. These are the features:

Name: 2.5 Inch Portable Hard Drive with Leather Cover
Description: Small and easily portable hard drive.

Key Features:
•Leather cover
•Powered by USB
•USB 2.0 Interface
•LED Status Indicator
•2.5" SATA HDD
•Transmission 480 Mbps
•Buffer memory 8MB
•Running Speed 5400 RPM

Price Includes:
•User's Manual
•USB Cable

I'm selling these at the insane price of $50 each. If you look in most catalogs you will see that a HDD of this size and quality is usually $150 or more. This is a limited time offer, and when this group of HDDs are gone, that's it.

Please contact me with your name, your mailing address (to ship this to) and PayPal me the money at daven@davensjournal.com. Please allow 2-3 weeks for shipping as I have to get to the post office to ship these.

I found the large version I was looking for. Thanks for everyone who was helping and who looked as well.



There are a lot of good pictures at this gallery, but I warn you they are TRIGGERY. Cutting, razor blades and so on. Go with caution.

Anyone have a big copy of this pic?

Does ANYONE on my flist know someone or know someone who knows someone who would be willing to take Boots and Tigger for about four months while we get permanent place to live?

Nashville Area. We are willing to pay $100 per month for the boarding. They are good cats and really affectionate. They don't bite or claw and we can provide their cat tree to let them claw to death.

This is becoming critical. We have to have a home for them by Monday.

Taken care of.  Thanks Becky!  This is a hell of a worry off my mind.

STEP ONE
- Make a post to your LJ locked or otherwise. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for Such and such on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas/Yule/Kwanzaa/Channukah is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. [Note: Your home address is not required!]

- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO
-Surf around your friends list (or friend's friend's, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream pure bred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just... wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive.

And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


( Given that I'm losing my house, items will have to be somehow given later. )

1. The Special Edition DVD of Kung Fu Panda
2. Gaia Cash (from Gaia Online)
3. A good corset or two
4. Cash for the move/relocation
5. 4-10 GB Flash Drive
6. 8 GB SanDisk MicroSD chip
7. USB>Phone cable for Samsung A737 phone with drivers
8. 80-100GB Laptop harddrive (doesn't have to be new, just working)
9. Donation to no kill shelters
10. Gift Certificate to get a decent set of makeup

No, I'm not expecting anything since my friends are in just as bad a position as I am. Just a wish list of things that I've wanted or thought "I'd like to have those" in recent days.

For right now my contact info is this:

email: davensjournal@gmail.com
phone: (615) 336-5361
Address: (till Dec 1)
Daven (aka Eric Landrum)
931 Warren St
Nashville, TN 37208

Poll #1292075 Short survey
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 35

Did you vote Yes to define marriage as between a man and a woman in ANY election this time around?

Please answer honestly. I'm the only one who can see the answers, and I'm just checking to see who out there believes this way.

Just got a stupid email from some Russian bint who was trying to convince me she was named "Brianna". Not even. I don't think that is a Russian name. Svetlana, Lucinda, Natallia, yeah. Brianna, not even.

As for the whole situation with Georgia, it's totally stupid. They are acting just like they did when the old USSR was in charge. They need to stop invading others before the rest of the world gets pissed and nukes the assholes to death.

Just so that I can refer people here, if anyone wants to get me a random present, this in Blue:

http://www.ebags.com/case_logic/canvas_messenger_bag/product_detail/index.cfm?modelid=96836

Her hands danced over me as she moved to get a better angle of attack. I loved those hands. Sometimes hard and firm, demanding, authoritative, impossible to resist, and sometimes they were gentle, caressing, floating over me like a sensual hovercraft. She had a talent for guiding me where she needed me to be.

She rarely messed up, but there were some times when something happened and she lost me for a bit. But she always found her way back, touching and stroking.

( More behind the cut )

Please tell me what you think.

I think that someone who looks out for the posters should be on the board.

Vote for the owner of Insane Journal, who uses the LiveJournal Open Source code for IJ, to be a member of the LiveJournal Advisory Board.

Okay, I'm seeing a lot of stuff on both LJ and IJ about the move from here to IJ. My reason for moving is very simple really.

I don't care that they sold LJ to a Russian company. My concern is that with that sale, American privacy laws no longer apply. Russian privacy laws apply. They can strip our journals of everything in the contents and sell it if they want to, repost it, move it. Thinking that Strikethrough '07 was bad, the Russian Moral Standard is worse. I'm not willing to put up with that.

The other reason is this: If they did this once (or actually five times now), ignoring users, putting controls on what we can do and what can be posted, acting arbitrarily and so on, they will do it over and over and over. They will continue to do so, without regard for the very people that support them. It's MY money that paid for their soda, their salary, their computer and software package. I'm not willing to keep saying with my money that it's okay to screw me without lube.

When employees can put up posts that directly mock the people that they are supposed to be serving, it's time to vote with the feet. I'm tired of the attitude that we, the users, are money machines designed to cough up cash on demand while they do anything they want.

I hate any censorship. Russian censorship would be worse. I'll miss my friends on LJ, but I don't want my inner emotional turmoil exposed to the masses. Heck, with as baddly as I was fucked by Direct Insurance, it's possible and conceivable that some American company can be doing background checks on a potential employee, discover they have a locked journal on LJ, contact the owners and slip them some money under the table and have a printout delivered containing EVERY post they ever made, which could result in the job being refused to a highly qualified candidate.

Given that Putin is in power again and that apparently most Russians don't like democracy, then that's exactly what could happen. And that's not even the nightmare scenario. Patriot Act taken off the books here in the US, and by law they can continue to search LJ for information if they grandfather that into the repeal. Or simply strike a deal with Russia for them to continue to provide open text posts for everyone using their service, say info for wheat, and the monitoring can continue completely unchecked. Thoughtcrime becomes real.

So that's why I moved.


( reposted from my account on Insane Journal. http://davensjournal.insanejournal.com if you want to come with me. And this post is going to be open to all, reply at your own risk. )

Okay, I just put up one post on each of the filters I have currently. If you can read the posts, those are the filters you are on. I always put [filter name] in the subject.

• TMI-Adult This is for posts that explicitly sexual in nature, or which not everyone wants to see.


• Whine This is for me being a whiny baby, mostly to get it off my chest.


• LeatherPriest This is for me to explore options in trying to combine BDSM and Priesthood issues


• NotLocal This is for those who are not physically near me, as of right now, it's mostly everyone I know with a few exceptions.
  


• Work This is for me to put up issues about my job. Going to be unused right now


• Therian For me to explore my animal side


• Magick This is by invitation only, you can request, but since it deals with some really esoteric and personal/private subjects, unless I really know you and trust you, you won't be on it. Highly slective.


• Bunnyhunt for posting on things dealing with getting rid of the fluff in the world and online paganism.


• Jobhunt This is for stuff relating to finding employment

Don't feel bad or upset if you aren't on a filter you think you shoudl be on. it is either because i don't think it's for you or I didn't think you would be interested. If you want on one specifically, just post and request.

Conversely, if you want off one, just post requesting that too.

Well, it’s time for the updates to commence.

I just finished another article, “Selling Our Craft”. It can be found at here.

I also sent the rosary I made for Carl McColman off to him. He got it on Good Friday, just before his Confirmation anniversary. I wish I could have been there to see his face when he opened it.

Anyhow, teaching and thinking and doing things that mean a lot to me, but probably not a lot to you.

Hope you all are having a wonderful time doing whatever. Keep coming back and start buying readings from me.

(and you may have noticed the ad on the Front Page. Yes, I know it’s there. I also put it there. I was and am a member of the Pagan Webcrafter’s Association. I did a banner swap with them, to try to drum up some business, either for my adult site or my tarot readings, and since I was taking advantage of their service, it’s only fair that I put their banners up to promote other people’s sites. Just hope it does increase traffic. And if you want to put a banner on your page to help me out, then take a look at the Site Stuff page and grab one. Yes, I’m going to be hawking these for a while. If it offends, then take care. But I have to eat too. Gods know the book sales aren’t doing squat.)

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

Well, just got an email from a lady who wanted some very specific information from me, so that she could judge the “correctness” of the Journal by what I had to say. She wanted, in effect, my Pagan Resume’.

So, I’m going to do something that I rarely do and that is talk about myself. BUT, I’m also going to put it behind a “cut” so that it’s not super-public where any idiot with an RSS reader can see it, they actually have to click on a link to get this information.

So, if you are using an aggregator like Thunderbird, click on the link to this post and read it in full if that is what you want to do. If you found this page through the actual blog, then you will have to click on the “more” link below to see the rest of it.

Okay, first off I have to say that this information in here is very personal. The other thing I have to say is that most of this is covered in other places around this site. Next it’s going to sound like I’m name dropping, but I’m really not. Last, believe me, don’t believe me, it’s entirely up to you.

Well, I started this journey when I was 4. I learned about NewAge philosophy and metaphysics from my Grandmother, who was one of the most gifted Healers I have ever met. She had all three gifts for Healing, Mind Body and Spirit. I learned the Mind and Spirit, with a little talent in the Body healing. Others in my family got other talents. So I guess that makes me Granny Trad, although she would have been highly insulted had you called her a witch.

She was Christian. New Age Christian to be sure, but Christian nonetheless. She was highly freaked out when I told her that I was Wiccan and a Witch when I finally came out to her. It was the one time I really was nervous and scared and needed approval from someone and it was devastating to me. But, she was open minded enough to look at the situation and the dynamic between Mary and I, and the two of us and our daughter, and tell me after a five day stay with her, that she had thought about it and it didn’t matter who I prayed to so long as I was a good person, and that I was a good person.

But that would come much later.

She and I spent many days talking about metaphysics, mysticism, Bigfoot, the Pyramids, past life regressions, hypnosis, trance, ritual, psychometry, telekinesis, telepathy, the thirteenth planet, the harmonic convergence, aliens and UFOs, Atlantis, The Bermuda Triangle, Buddhism, other Gods, nature and Gaia, IDIC, and all those things that the New Age movement has incorporated into itself. I can probably speak reams on all of this, simply from the volume I read when I was young.

I’m the only 14 year old I have heard of who read “Journeys out of the Body” in a week, and spent the next year practicing it. The only problem I really had was the volume of material I was taking in and how I wasn’t assimilating it. I could read a book and remember what it said, but I didn’t necessarily remember what book it came from. When I would go back to check a fact, I couldn’t find it again.

In some ways I think I did shock people in the amount of knowledge I already had when I started in Wicca. I didn’t have to have past lives explained to me, I already knew about it and was able to discuss things with the teachers on that topic that they may not have thought about. And that happened more than once.

I vividly remember sitting on my grandmother’s counter and talking to her about auras and the colors and what they meant. I couldn’t see them, but I could feel them and it was a subtle distinction that she appreciated. I was treated like a grown up by her and I learned immense amounts with her and from her. Shinto beliefs and Zen and the collected works of Alice Bailey were all mine to grasp.

We moved to Georgia and the Mormons found us. That was an interesting time. On one hand they had me locked into a prison of dogma and rules and guilt, but on the other hand they not only understood but actively looked for manifestations of the Holy Spirit to talk about. They encouraged you to use your natural gifts in those areas and to not suppress them (that is, if you were male). And they were willing to talk about the spinning room effect from prayers.

I stayed Mormon for 8 years, and while it wasn’t the most pleasant time of my life, it allowed me to see things I may have missed. And I kept studying on my own for that time. Crystals, the crystal skulls, psychokenesis, mythology and demonology, AD&D and related disciplines and so on.

Oh, yes, I was a gamer geek. And that’s where the next twist to this story is to be found.

See, I knew from what I had been reading that all that detailed in the game was real. If not on THIS world, then in other worlds. I had a familiarity with the Astral Plane, the Ethereal plane and other realms, and knew what I was talking about to speak on things like what a “Magic Missile” was. I read fantasy and I had an imagination. That, by the way, is the use I find for paper RPGs like that, training the imagination and the visualization areas of the mind.

I was shocked to discover just HOW many metaphysically aware people were involved in gaming. EVERYONE I knew, with just one or two exceptions, had an awareness of otherworlds and so on, most just didn’t know what they knew and didn’t know how rare it was to not be headblind. Out of better than 100 people who I gamed with regularly, only two didn’t have any metaphysical gifts. The only qualifier here is that most of them didn’t have any skills or knowledge in metaphysics, but about a dozen did and we gravitated to each other.

This is where I met the father of my heart, Frank. He is a Vietnam Veteran, Special Forces, 35 kills to his credit (one out of a sound sleep with the assassin’s own knife, after he had killed about 8 other men in his barracks), 5 black belts and belts in about 20 other styles, half Cherokee and half Sioux (that he told me), who is one of the nicest people you ever wanted to meet, whom children instantly love and run to for protection, who my 2 week old daughter fell asleep on when she wouldn’t go to her grandfather and he spent the next 4 hours barely breathing with this beautific smile on his face of wonder. The man who gave me reasons to live and to become the best person I could and who guided my studies.

Can you tell I love the guy? He is what I try to be every day.

There was also a Wiccan in that group. She kept her beliefs very quiet and didn’t speak on them much. But while *I* was oblivious, others weren’t. She had the courage to be interviewed for the local paper’s required Halloween interest article. And that’s how I was introduced to Wicca.

When I read that article, I felt like I was free to give a name to what I believed. But my coming home to Wicca would wait for the Army interfered.

I joined the Army and discovered something; It wasn’t for me. They wanted me to change who I was completely, to conform and to be a cookie cutter. Unfortunately while I will do that for some, the Army wasn’t it. So I spent a year and a half looking at some beautiful scenery, learning things like how to type, and being in stasis. I practiced several times what I had learned, and I wanted to astral project, so I meditated and did what I could. My roommate made fun of me in so doing. But I kept going and eventually I was thrown out because I was fat.

I came home and the next major turning point in my life and this journey occurred. I met my wife.

A little background: my best friend in the world Keith is also very metaphysically aware and he and I collaborated on a lot of projects together, one of those being gaming conventions. We did security for DragonCon on years 3, 4, 5 and 6 and DixieTrek on three years, one of them the very last. So we knew the gamers and the con goers as well as working together with metaphysics. I spent all kinds of time playing and got VERY good at things like BattleTech.

Well, Keith convinced me to go to DixieTrek and work the security on it. Since it was a smaller convention and I didn’t have anything to do, I went. I did my normal job of wandering around, being “free safety” and handling problems as I came to them, instead of sitting in one place bored out of my mind. I got very good.

One of the jobs I assigned myself was the “con party patrol”, in which I go and check the parties out and see how things are going, if there is underage drinking and so on. I would patrol those and participate as I needed to in order to blend in. The Klingon parties were always fun, and I think the most boring party I have ever been to was the “Beauty and the Beast” fan party. Twelve people sitting around and watching every episode back to back to back without a word being said. Mind-numbing.

What does this have to do with anything? I met my wife there. She was hostess at a con-suite setup and was being the baby sitter. The lady who was nominally in charge was no where to be found, and Mary was the one running things. She had her daughter and brand new baby granddaughter there. Her son was also in attendance. I dropped in, saw open bottles and hung around a bit. It was quiet and low key, but there was gaming going on, as well as a chess tournament and a puzzle competition. The puzzles were those metal twistie puzzles and you had to figure out how to get them apart and back together again.

Mary was running the gaming. I wandered over. It was Star Wars. I watched and went back to my patrol later. About 2 AM I went back and they were JUST starting a new game. I made up a character and started playing.

In the middle of this, Keith shows up and tries to get me to go to the Dealer’s room to secure it and play Battletech. Since I was a Battletech fiend, my refusal was a shock. He pulled me out and we spent a few minutes in the corridor talking about what was going on. I wound up staying and playing, much to their disappointment.

SOMETHING was calling me to be in that room, and I’m glad I was. There was the normal group of people who were metaphysically aware as normal. I thought nothing of it. But Mary was there and she was a neat old lady. I found out that she was old enough to be my mother, and I scared the hell out of her by grabbing her collar at one point in the game. She was like “easy son, it’s a game…” to which I said “yes, I know it is, I’m acting.” I think that cemented her interest in me,

Time passed and I lost track of them, since the contact phone numbers she gave me were still in my pocket when I washed my shirt. (I used a BDU top for my “con shirt”, woodland camo with various pins and patches, including a House Steiner patch.)

But as the fates would do, I found them again through her daughter. At the time Dragonware Hobbies was my home and I spent a lot of time there, the only time I wasn’t there being when I was sleeping in my car due to a falling out with my mother, or at my job. The rest of the time I basically lived in Dragonware. And I met her daughter again. She had moved into the area with her husband and their child and were looking for a place to game at.

It turned out that they were also Wiccan. Fam Trad with HIS mother. She was the High Priestess of a coven in the area. At the time I had moved away from Wicca to magick and witchcraft, so I was willing to study and learn to a point, not jump in the Wicca bag whole. And they had a copy of Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft.

I devoured that book. I read it cover to cover in a week, and re-read it four times over the next two weeks. I cross referenced some of the works I had on hand, like “the Practical Guide to the Runes”, and started on my Wiccan journey. And I also spent days talking to Mary about everything.

Let me explain this a bit. I would talk with whomever about what I knew in regards to metaphysics, learning and swapping. I taught Frank about Mormonism, Frank taught me about how the martial arts philosophies dovetailed with metaphysics. Keith and I would spend days discussing the many worlds theory and astral projection. But it was in two to three hour bursts since we all had lives.

For Mary, I gave that up. She and I started talking and it was like something went *click* in both of us. There were times when (literally) we would start talking about metaphysics and tarot and runes and AP and spirituality and would talk about it for the next 17 hours until she had to go to work again, just to do it again when she came back to see me. And it was seeing ME, not her daughter. Apparently she got VERY addicted to me VERY fast.

But we would spend a long time talking and discussing things. Mostly metaphysical, but also life, philosophy, maturity and so on. Apparently she became addicted to me very rapidly.

I spent a lot of time with her learning and teaching, thinking and discussing. Most of my personal gnosis and epiphanies happened during that two years while discovering who I was and my personal spirituality. And I found that Seax-Wica seemed to fit what I perceived the world to be. Plus I had been in communication with Rhiannon of the Birds and Herne the Hunter for some time (this is the point where they Chose me to be Their Priest) and also with my daughter Rhiannon and also Michael the Archangel. I learned even more from Them, finding out and learning and rediscovering.

A lot of the instruction I have had is either direct revelation from the Gods, book learning, personal gnosis or a culmination of a thought process. I have had little formal training in a coven setting. I have had some however.

Patalee Glass-Koentp was one instructor of mine. She and I hung out at “Flight of the Phoenix” in Grand Prairie in Texas for some time. I attended her beginner’s classes, and she is the one to FIRST call me a High Priest. Before that I had called myself a priest or a devote’, but she anointed me with that title. This was the second night of being at her class, when she asked me to present Seax-Wica to everyone else as to what it was. From then on, I have called myself a High Priest, but not until then. I was very upset to learn that she died.

Raymond Buckland and I met each other through the medium of the Internet and the Seax-Wica lists. There was a whole melt down with the Seax tradition and he and I crossed paths. I count him as a friend of mine, and something of a mentor (considering I learned Craft basics and principles from his works, it’s not surprising). I believe he counts me as a friend as well.

Trish Telesco; She and I met through another author, AJ Drew. She was active on his board, and very vocal in her defense of Raymond, but AJ was insisting on attacking Raymond. I showed up to that board, walked into the middle and explained everything, and finally got Raymond and AJ talking to each other, when things got cleared up. But apparently the aspersions that AJ and Trish cast at each other were too much, and she left. I have talked with her multiple times since, reviewed her books and I definitely consider her a friend. (And she’s got a cruise for us coming up in 2006 over Valentine’s Day. Go to it if you can. It looks to be fun.)

AJ Drew. He and I met due to the previous altercation. There has since been some bad blood, but I learned from him as well.

Dorothy Morrison. I met Dorothy first when I reviewed a pair of her books and she found the review. I was in the process of reviewing another book of hers and wrote her JUST as she found my review. We kind-of hit it off since I was honest with her and I consider her a good friend.

Fritz Jung and Wren Walker: I worked with them both on The Witches Voice (specifically the Cats of the Craft section) for some time. I had more contact with Fritz. That section was closed down and we lost contact, but every now and then we come back into contact with each other and discuss things. Mostly idea-spinning and sharing of thoughts, where we seem to have a similar outlook.

Sannion: Helenistic Pagan, not one that you would consider a Wiccan and Druid to have as a friend, but he and I hit it off from the sheer intelligence of essays written. I have an immense amount of respect for his intelligence and ability to see through to the heart of the subject, and to say all this succinctly. His “Wiccan Fatwa” is a scream and I have learned much from him. He reads my livejournal and this RSS feed and I read his. I consider him to be a good friend.

Obsidian: For some reason he seems to credit me with saving him from fluffy-dom. All I suggested was that he not take the name “Taliesin” since everyone used that name. This seems to have made a difference. He is welcome in my home any time he chooses to show up.

Triskel: Discordian Priest Irreverand Hugh, fairly well known in the Discordian Circles, I count as another friend. He and I see eye to eye as to the nature of Chaos and why things are the way they are.

Carl McColman: I met him at The Real Witches Ball in Columbus Ohio. Turns out that he’s from my old stomping ground. He knows where the monastery is in Conyers, right next door to the owner of Dragonware Hobbies with whom I spent many months at different times. He and I hit it off and I owe him some beers. It was a shock to see him go back to Catholicism, but I understood why he did and hold no animosity toward him. Can’t wait to get together with him sometime soon again.

Lisa McSherry: Ma’at is the lady I met through the Journal when she was taking one of my classes and we simply started talking. Apparently I taught her a lot, and I’m glad for that. She is another friend of mine.

Kenn White: DarkOwl is one of those people that if you know him, you expect everyone to know him. I met him when I started researching Druidism and his essays taught me a lot. I joined his budding Druidic Order and learned even more. My brother if I could have chosen one, we are bound even tighter by the oaths we swore.

In each and every one of these cases, excepting Patalee, I met them through the Journal. And I didn’t really try.

The motivations for creating this website: Mostly it’s preservation of my thoughts. I wanted a medium to preserve what I learned and came to understand, and apparently it made sense to others. I was shocked and flattered to find people reading what I had to say and learning from it, as well as recommending it. That gives me all kinds of warm-fuzzies. To learn that the people I learned from are coming and learning from me, well, that’s flabbergasting.

So, the Journal was started to teach a few others about what a Druid is so they could role play them well. And things kind of snowballed from there. I have changed the focus from what others believe and teach to what I know and believe, to save it for my daughter and her children. I plan on setting up a perpetual trust to pay for the hosting and bandwidth. I have it on good authority that in the 2200’s or so, Daven’s Journal is still up and running as well as teaching.

If that’s true, it surpasses my dreams.

Other than that, I’m here. This is Daven. It is not all that Eric Landrum (my real name) is, for a lot of who and what I am is irrelevant to this. But spirituality and metaphysically, this is my place and my thoughts. I’m slowly going through and cleaning out that which is inaccurate and what is not mine, to segregate what IS me from that which is not. I’m rather proud of this Journal, it’s taken 6 years of work so far.

Oh, I officially dedicated myself (Buckland’s Self Dedication Ritual, and the Seax-Wican self dedication) on August 19, 1992. I was initiated into the ODU on October 29, 2003. So I’ve been doing this for some time and studying it even longer. The Journal has been going since October 1999.

So there it is. This is me. There are a few other pages that are relevant:

My Biography
Site Dedication (my tribute to Grandma)
My Feelings about my wife
The purpose of the Journal

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

There is a new review available at the Journal!

The Witches’ Sabbats

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!

…where I want to hurt people.

Even with the national attention being focused on the Wiccan parent’s right to teach their kid what they want there are still the little dramas playing out all the time.

Take Norm (seriously, take him, I don’t want him anymore…). It’s been over a year since I have had any contact with the man. Why? Not worth my time or energy. I have serious things I’m doing and trying to get done, and it is obvious that he’s not going to learn. That’s fine, his karma.

Friend of mine posts to The Obsidian Mirror where I am a member, along with a couple other people who have had run-ins with him in the past. Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal since it’s a private group, and most often no one that isn’t supposed to be there comes. But, unfortunately, The Mirror has a tendency to draw one of two people; those who like the site or those who absolutely despise it. I have yet to meet anyone who is on the fence.

So, he puts up a one line post venting some frustrations that he has, and we start a discussion.

Mistakes were made. One of the biggest was that it was in a public area of the BBS. Some say some very disingenuous things in the process of venting. A link to Norm’s Yahoogroup was posted, and several of us went to look at what was going on. Nothing exciting and so I didn’t stick around or bother signing up. Why fan dead coals back into flames?

But, DragonGoddess was “outed”, as I mentioned earlier. Surprisingly she is a pretty good person when not kicking her heels and yelling about how bad we all are. Long story.

The net result? Norm was apparently doing a “vanity search” (a Google Search where you look for your name on other people’s webpages) and found the Mirror forum. He joins. Without thinking I authorize him to be a member. He starts posting his idiocy again. I ban him since I don’t really want to put up with it. And now he’s whining about how mean we all are.

Like I said, drama.

Newsflash: It’s our forum, we get to decide who is there. Coming on to someone else’s forum and posting and spamming about how mean we all are, how you are condemning us all because we are idiots, how we don’t understand you is acting like an emo kid (and I had to look up the definition of emo a while back too, so don’t feel bad) and just makes me disgusted.

Norm, you claim to be a leader in the Pagan communities. When you are criticized you start kicking and screaming about how wrong everyone else is without ever actually reading the citations and references provided. You set up straw-man arguments so you can knock them down and make villans out of others, and you act like someone who has their feelings hurt. You call those who don’t agree with you unintelligent and idiots. You say that someone who doesn’t agree with you are not “True Wiccans” or whatever, and then you post pages about how mean they are. You call people that you consider friends to attack as if they were mastifs or something, and then you get pissed off and leave the group (”I’m taking my balls and going home….” <footstamp>) while casting aspersions at those who just offended you.

These are not the actions of any kind of “leader”. These are the actions of an offended 5 year old. This is how a child behaves. I have done nothing to you except disagree with one page of your site. I even state that if one word is changed, I can support the thing. I even state that it is that one page I disagree with.

Yes, I used to get a thrill off bating you a while back, but that’s when I had hope that you would and could see the error of your ways. But I have given up that hope entirely since it’s obvious that you are going to keep smacking into that brick wall. I have had no contact with you since that last piece of drama.

You say that you want to “agree to disagree”. That is what I have done. I am not in your face, nor am I smearing you everywhere. But do you realize that in your Yahoogroup, you have made several posts mentioning me and Obsidian? Don’t you think that shows some obsession? Do you have any clue what that means to you? You can’t leave it alone. You accuse everyone else of things and actions YOU YOURSELF do constantly. It’s pitiful.

Well, this is my last entry about you Norm. I feel sorry for you. I really do. You are no kind of leader, and if you think you are, then you need to get help for your delusions. A leader doesn’t act like this. A petulant child does.

Mirrored from Daven's Journal. Please leave all comments there since you can even log in with your Livejournal or Dreamwidth account with OpenID!